Giving Thanks For Kirk Cousins, Justin Jefferson, and Pumpkin Pie
Tom Woldum
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It was 11 p.m., the day before Thanksgiving, and I found myself at Cub Foods roaming the aisles. We all have our favorite Turkey Day food item(s), and mine is pumpkin pie, with a liberal pile of Cool Whip on top. My wife, a wonderful cook and appreciator of good food, is horrified that I prefer the “imitation whipped cream” (or, as the fine folks at Kraft-Heinz Corp. refer to it, “Whipped Topping”) over a good spray can of actual whipped cream, or ideally in her eyes, heavy cream whipped to a frenzy until it achieves full-on Authentic Whipped Cream Status. As if that weren’t enough, I also lean towards a frozen Mrs. Smith’s Original Flaky Crust pumpkin pie over most homemade versions.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the Genuine Articles, whether they be pie or topping, but there’s something about those two pre-packaged items served together that just tastes like the holidays. And family. And drying leaves swirling in the yard, and fires in the fireplace, and loved ones nearby, and football. The whole package goes together, and I am very thankful for all of it. Especially the loved ones. And the pie and the Cool Whip.
At this time of year, the missus regards me even more warily than normal as she watches me make questionable choices about what foods I consume, and about how I choose to spend my Sunday afternoons. In her very beautiful and very wise eyes, it’s a tossup about which will send me to an early grave—eating too much junk food or continuing to invest my emotional well-being in the Minnesota Vikings. And, even though our favorite football team has pushed my blood pressure well into the red zone (and not the 20-yards from a touchdown kind) I still embrace them with the same kind of I-know-it’s-not-good-for-me-but-I’m-going-to-love-it-anyway devotion that I reserve for a certain Whipped Topping.
Which brings me back to my 11 p.m. grocery run. It had been a busy week, and though we had accounted for the turkey and most of the standard accoutrements expected of a Thanksgiving feast, it had come to my attention we had no pie. It was well worth a late night grocery trip to address this egregious hole in our menu plan. When I got there, however, I was stunned to discover that the frozen food aisle was completely devoid of Mrs. Smith’s Original Flaky Crust pumpkin pies. They were completely sold out. Clearly, I’m not the only one who has a passion for the product.
Was I devastated? No, I was not.
With my favorite Thanksgiving Carol, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” squarely in mind, I brought home a can of pumpkin filling and some spice. The next morning, with the parades on TV, my wife was in the kitchen baking a not-frozen pie, whistling a happy tune knowing that I would be settling for something even better than my first choice. I am thankful for this: I’m blessed with a great wife and a wonderful family.
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And we are all blessed with the Purple and Gold. Allow me to elaborate. Let’s say grace:
- I am thankful that our team provides us with a highly entertaining three hours every Sunday. This run of drama and nail-biting may have been hazardous to our health, but it sure has been fun.
- I am thankful for Justin Jefferson. The kid is a spectacular player with an infectious personality and a best-in-class touchdown celebration dance that we get to see repeatedly. I am also thankful that the Vikings coaches have figured out that November is the time for force-feeding ourselves as much of a good thing as we can possibly stand, and I hope it continues with even more Justin from here on out.
- I am thankful for Adam Thielen. He has become a spiritual leader, with crazy-good hands that will get you the third down yardage every time. And, he too scores many touchdowns and has adopted Jefferson’s Griddy Dance, spreading even more joy.
- I am thankful for Kirk Cousins. There, I said it. I’m thankful that I can say that publicly, and know with confidence that any Kirk-haters still out there at this stage of the season have not been paying attention. They haven’t acknowledged the statistics, and they haven’t watched him execute consistently this season in a Top-10 quarterback fashion. If you still have a beef with Cousins, it’s because of his contract, which is clearly not Kirk’s fault, but the fault of Vikings management. At the quarterback position, nobody owes us a Patrick Mahomes or a Tom Brady. As Mick Jagger sings it, you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you might find you get what you need.
- I am thankful for the Vikings organization’s willingness to prioritize mental health in its organization (by all accounts the team they have assembled handled this week’s Everson Griffen situation sensitively and professionally). I applaud GM Rick Spielman’s take in commenting about Griffen and his household: “their family is our family….I know he’s receiving the care and support he needs.”
- I am thankful for the youth of the Vikings – from Camryn Bynum to Christian Darrisaw, there are young players who are growing from green rookies to players in their early 20s experiencing growing pains to possible answers to future positional problems. Aside from the Super Bowl title that we may never see, what I hope for most with this team is that they will seamlessly transition from the current to the future Vikings—staying very competitive throughout, and avoiding a to-hell-and-back total rebuild.
- I am thankful for (gulp) Mike Zimmer. Three weeks ago I was ready for the Vikes to pull the plug on him. But you know what? Zimmer has done something this year that I honestly didn’t think he was capable of doing: he has changed. Even though he probably wouldn’t admit to this in a press conference, he has taken the proverbially hard look in the mirror, discovered some flaws, and has taken action to change. From how he treats his kicker (he actually defended Greg Joseph on multiple occasions this year) to how he and offensive coordinator Klint Kubiak call the game (morphing from a hyper-conservative approach to sudden willingness to fling the ball downfield and—gasp– even go for two), the man is showing a willingness to evolve. Kudos to him.
Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I think we’ve all got a lot to be thankful for as Viking fans. Like my trip to the grocery store, the Vikings have pivoted to Plan B on many occasions this year, and, as my wife would tell you, Plan B can end up being better for you, even if it should have been Plan A all along.
By the way, the homemade pumpkin pie was, indeed, fantastic. My wife made Mrs. Smith proud, as I knew she would. And, thankfully, it was topped with a huge dollop of Cool Whip. You get what you need.
