When J.J. McCarthy Throws His First TD Pass…
…The clouds will part, the angels will sing, and the long wait for the Vikings to have a true franchise signal caller will come to an end after literally 50 years. J.J. McCarthy will have arrived.
When J.J. McCarthy throws his first touchdown, it won’t matter who it is to. Justin Jefferson, Jordan Addison, Jalen Nailor, T.J. Hockenson, it doesn’t matter; Wes Phillips could go out there and throw a Vikings uniform on and catch the pass for all I care. All that will matter is that we all know we just witnessed the first of many of the face of the franchise’s lethal lays into the basket.
What makes it even sweeter is the fact that the odds are, McCarthy will throw his first career touchdown pass in primetime on a Monday Night in front of a sold-out Soldier Field in Chicago, Illinois. Not only will the division rival Chicago Bears have to bear witness (see what I did there?), the entire world will be tuned into ESPN and see the very first indications that Jonathan James McCarthy is ready for the big time.
The Big Football media will be silenced, as their slanderous, hateful, irresponsible, and blatantly disrespectful claims that the Vikings need to sign Aaron Rodgers, re-sign Sam Darnold, or even slighty reconsider the fact that J.J. McCarthy is face that runs the place in the Twin Cities will be brought down to a stunned mute; it will be the loudest silence you can imagine.
It will be a twenty-year silence. It will be a twenty-year purple reign. It will be a beautiful new era for Minnesota sports, as young talents like J.J. McCarthy, Kirill Kaprizov, and Anthony Edwards all lead their respective Vikings, Wild, and Timberwolves into a two-decade-long reign of the NFL, NHL, and NBA.
Colin Cowherd will cower behind his desk. Ross Tucker will be tucked into bed. The rest of the NFC North will be plunged into a pit of darkness that not even Hades could fathom opening. And it is all their fault.
It’s the Bears’ fault for taking Caleb Williams. The Commanders’ fault for taking Jayden Daniels (good pick, though). The Patriots’ fault for taking Drake Maye. The Cardinals’ fault for taking Marvin Harrison Jr. The Chargers’ fault for taking Joe Alt. The Giants’ fault for taking Malik Nabers. The Titans’ fault for taking JC Latham. Especially the Falcons’ fault for taking Michael Penix Jr. and persuading Kirk Cousins away from the Vikings. The Bears’ fault again for taking Rome Odunze.
When J.J. McCarthy throws his first touchdown, young sons and daughters will look up at their fathers and mothers, who are exuding pure joy. The little ones don’t understand, because they were born in a timeline where all they know is a franchise quarterback, while their parental figures were brought up in a timeline of Christian Ponder, Matt Cassell, and Donovan McNabb.
Maybe one day, their bloodlines will remember what it’s like to experience quarterback purgatory. But until then, J.J. McCarthy is all they will know, as will the rest of the NFL.
