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As the Minnesota Vikings prepare to end their 2019 training camp, a final exam on their progress is presented to those in charge of judging them from barstools, armchairs and workspaces.
This final exam will count 25% towards your final grade. Please examine the questions below carefully and choose what you believe is the most exact answer.
1. Who will be the Vikings’ wide receiver number 3?
a) Chad Beebe, because every Vikings’ fan fantasy is that he’s a young Wes Welker
b) Jordan Taylor, because he’s 6’ 5” and has long arms–and long hair
c) Obasi Johnson, because he caught a touchdown pass last week and there’s that
d) Jeff Badet, because he’s very fast and that’s all we really know about him
2. Linval Joseph is:
a) Just resting up by skipping nearly all camp
b) Still recovering from surgery for an injury the Vikings won’t reveal (probably his shoulder)
c) On his way to a season akin to the Pat Elflein disaster of 2018
d) Totally ready to rock
3. Is “Vedvik the Viking” going to be the Minnesota Vikings’ field goal kicker?
a) Of course. You don’t trade a 5th round pick for a practice player
b) No. The Vikings still have faith in Dan Bailey
c) Yes. He’ll also punt and be the special teams’ gunner
d) No. But the front office will consider dressing him in ancient Viking armor on game day for the fans
4. Will this Viking offensive line really work?
a) Yes. The triumvirate of Bradbury, Klein, and Elflein will improve it 1000% over the 2018 version
b) Only if Brian O’Neill or Riley Reiff start every game. There is no tackle depth on this team
c) No. Opponents will crack Rick Dennison’s zone-run code and Kirk Cousins will be forced to pass too often to win
5. Will Xavier Rhodes return to his 2017 All-Pro form?
a) Yes. He’s leaner, meaner, and more attentive to coaching
b) No. At 29, he’s on the Darrelle Revis slide
d) He’ll be about the same
6. Will Everson Griffen have an impact for the Minnesota defense in 2019?
a) Yes. He will return to the Pro Bowl by producing double-digit sacks
b) No. He will be shut down by opposing left tackles and eventually split time with Stephen Weatherly
c) Meh. He will be an average workaday defensive end and have little effect on games
7. Who will be the primary backup to RB Dalvin Cook?
a) Alex Madison the no-brainer
b) Mike Boone the burner
c) Ameer Abdullah born again
d) The next two preseason games will decide
8. Is tight end Irv Smith, Jr. ready to contribute?
a) Yes. The value of his quickness will show itself early in the season and he will produce points
b) No. He has several aspects of the game to master before being relied upon
c) Yes and no. Smith will make a splash early but get banged in his long first season and disappear
9. Will Kirk Cousins eliminate the horrendous turnovers he committed in 2018?
a) Yes. An improved offensive line and offensive stratagem and will help keep him out of harm’s way
b) Yes. But only because his coaches will kill him if he doesn’t learn to throw the ball away
c) No. His competitive edge will supersede the clock that should be in his head and the fumbles and strip sacks will again happen
10. Does the coaching staff of Mike Zimmer, Kevin Stefanski, and Gary Kubiak succeed?
a) Yes. Simply because the Vikings offensive game returns to its 2017 version and it’s defense continues to bend and not break
b) No. Too many chefs in the offensive kitchen
c) Yes. Because Kaare Vedvik’s leg will produce three more victories in 2019 then they had last year
d) No. The Vikings will lose crucial close games, and players and coaches will give up on the season, thinking about their jobs in 2020.
Please place your finished answer sheets in an orderly fashion on the camp desk. Enjoy the rest of your Summer as we will all look forward to being together again for classes in the coming Fall.