Unveiling The Mike Zimmer Injury Translator
K. Joudry
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Ah, Mike Zimmer. The man loves to play with the media. He says one thing and means another. Nowhere is this more evident than when Mike Zimmer discusses an injury to one of his players.
Much of the focus since the SF loss has been on Dalvin Cook’s shoulder injury. Reasonably enough, Vikings fans have some concerns about whether they’ll again be watching their team operate without its best runner. Zim was up to his usual antics when he told the media that Cook’s injury was merely day to day. That description contradicts what well-respected reporters are describing. The sense one gets from the reports is that Cook will be done for at least a couple weeks.
It is this discrepancy that got me thinking: how should fans understand Zim’s description of player injuries? Some still take him at his word, foolishly parroting his proclamation that Cook will indeed be back soon. Others have abandoned all purple optimism, instead opting to forecast the worst case in every scenario. Neither side tends to be correct.
The brain trust here at Purple PTSD felt it was time to intervene. We are providing a handy list below to help people make sense of the things Zim says about his players’ injuries.
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Without further ado, here is your Mike Zimmer injury translator:
- Day to Day = Week to Week
- Week to Week = Month to Month
- A Little Banged Up = In Excruciating Pain
- Tweak = Season Ending Injury
- We Hope to Have Him = There’s No Chance We Have Him
- It’s Minor = It’s A Hair Below Major
- It’s Just a Sprain = It’s Falling Off
- We’ll Need to Wait on An MRI = The MRI Says The Player’s Career May Be Over
- We’re Getting a Second Opinion = The First Opinion Suggested Disaster
- It’s a Minor Fracture = He’s In a Full Body Cast
- He Needed a Few Stitches = We Could Literally See His Bone Protruding
There you have it, folks. This handy guide can hopefully clear up any confusion about the way Zim discusses injuries.
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