J’s Guide to Finishing Out This Football Season

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - NOVEMBER 6: A Minnesota Vikings fan watches during the first half of the game on November 6, 2016 at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Adam Bettcher/Getty Images)

Son of a bitch. This is going to be tough. I’m worried about the rest of the year, and I’m assuming the rest of Minnesota is as well. The Vikings appear to be at a crossroads. My heart wants to believe that the first two weeks were coincidental. But my head paints a sinister picture.

If you’re anything like me it might have been difficult to get out of bed the last couple of days. Flashes of DeForest Buckner in the backfield and Kirk Cousins interceptions have plagued my dreams. They’ve probably plagued your Twitter timeline as well. 

The pessimism radiating from this fan-base is something I expected to see after an 0-2 start. A ton of it is justified. This article won’t be calling for Kirk’s head on a spike, however, it will describe healthy ways to deal with all of the turmoil.

How to cope when your team never touches the ball

The team has looked abysmal thus far. In fact, we are the first team since 2005 to run fewer than 50 offensive plays in the first two weeks of the season. That’s difficult to do. 

If we keep up this current trend, it will be important as Vikings fans to find something to do while waiting for the offense to get back on the field. Perhaps a good book, I know we’d have time for it. 

I really want to put this in perspective for everyone. The Colts held the ball for roughly 40 minutes on Sunday. This took a little bit of math, but if one were miserable enough, they could watch the terribly awkward Kirk Cousins Pizza Ranch commercial 80 times in that span. It’s crazy how much time this team has had on the offensive side of the ball. 

CRINGE

Or perhaps you’re a person of great action. A ton of people have been pointing their fingers at the Stefon Diggs trade, and the impact it’s had on 2020. I fully urge you to take it all out on him. Tweet at him every time this offensive line gets blown up. It’s not his problem anymore, but I’d get a kick out of it. This leads me to my next topic: social media.  

Stay away from social media, or don’t, and go mad

This one is up to the reader. Vikings Twitter has been an absolute war zone as of late. If it’s not a “tank for Trevor” tweet, it’s a tweet with aspirations to fire Zimmer and Spielman tomorrow. Like I said earlier, the backlash is well deserved. But surrounding yourself with that toxic energy will do nothing for your mental health. 

I urge every Vikings fan to find their happy place before next Sunday. 

With so many “experts,” and casual fans chiming in their opinion it can get dicey. Another solution would be to shut off the phone entirely. Don’t give those guys the opportunity to shit on your team in the first place. It’s the simplest ideas that always seem to do the trick. 

Do not expect anything from this defense 

With Anthony Barr set to miss the rest of the season with a torn pectoral muscle, this defense will have to find another source of leadership. Quite honestly this Barr injury doesn’t do much to change my outlook on this team. 

Overreaction can be such a nuisance so early in the season, but this secondary may be the worst the Purple has ever had. Until these young cornerbacks begin progressing, we’re in for some brutal defensive stats. If these guys can show flashes of their potential, then I think we have a decent shot to be content heading into next season. I’m not banking on it though.

My advice is to not get your hopes up. Not even for a second. Danielle Hunter coming back could be enough to bring a smile to my face, but I’m still pondering whether or not that will be enough. Try to stay positive and fade out the noise. It’s okay to second guess everything. 

Do whatever works best for you

I thought getting older would make losses easier. I’ve learned that being a “mature” adult means being absolutely crushed every Sunday. My dreams seem to live and die with this team, and it’s not something I’m particularly proud of. 

My coping mechanisms are always the same. Complain to everyone that’s willing to listen, then lay down in bed, and finish it off by staring at the ceiling until the next morning. It’s simple, it’s effective. If you do drink I recommend buying a rack of 12, and maybe even a second one. Find something that works for you and stick to it. That’s the only way we make it out on the other side. 

This season will be a ride, and if it does end up in a top-five pick, I’d be content. Maybe you’re one of the faces in the crowd that believes this season isn’t lost. Vikings fans are split into so many directions. It’s tough to say who’s right. My ultimate advice is to come together and cheer for a brighter tomorrow, today. 

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