One Sentence Rankings: Week 2

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Sep 11, 2018

Week 1 is behind us, and NFL fanbases all over the country are over-reacting like crazy. Let’s see how the NFL looks in my mind based on week 1 performances.

  1. L.A. Rams: The Rams’ defense looked like an elite unit Monday Night, and the offense showed off the fact that it has weapons all over the field on offense, plus Cooks is a deep field pass interference machine.
  2. Philadelphia Eagles: When your defense looks as great as the Eagles’ did Thursday, you can win with nearly anyone at quarterback.
  3. Minnesota Vikings: This team has some development to do with the young guys, but the offense looks good and they hand Jimmy GQ his first ever loss.
  4. New England Patriots: Tom Brady and Bill Belichick just know how to win football games.
  5. Jacksonville Jaguars: Jacksonville holds a potentially lethal offense to 15 points, and the offense does enough to win.
  6. Kansas City Chiefs: Mahomes and Hill might turn into the most lethal QB-WR combination in the NFL.
  7. Houston Texans: Desean Watson and JJ Watt play their first game in nearly a year, and while they looked a bit rusty, they’ll shake off the rust soon.
  8. Atlanta Falcons: This offense was supposed to be better in the red-zone this season, but it didn’t look any better and if they don’t fix the red-zone woes, this team will drop scientifically.
  9. Green Bay Packers: Even with Rodgers’ ACL is hanging on by a string, the defense looking bad, and the run game looking mediocre, the Rodgers Revenge Tour rolls on.
  10. Carolina Panthers: Carolina’s defense stacked the box and didn’t let Zeke beat them, but let’s see what the team looks like against teams with real wide receivers.
  11. Pittsburgh Steelers: You can’t blow a lead against a team that’s won one game in 2 seasons and expect to stay in the top 10.
  12. L.A. Chargers: LAC got off to a rough start, but this team is banged up on defense and when they get healthy, will be better.
  13. New Orleans Saints: You can’t let Ryan Fitzpatrick throw 4 touchdowns and rush for another and expect to stay in the top 10.
  14. Denver Broncos: Case Keenum turned over the ball more than he should have, but the team has a lot of potential if Keenum can protect the ball better.
  15. Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens could win the AFC North, and if the defense plays well and Flacco plays like he did against Buffalo, they will win the AFC North.
  16. San Francisco 49ers: Jimmy GQ looked flustered by an elite defense and made poor decisions all game, plus the defense looked pedestrian, so maybe this team is a year or two away.
  17. Dallas Cowboys: The Cowboys’ wide receivers looked terrible, and the defense looked average, so this team takes a dip until they prove they can air the ball out a bit.
  18. Cincinnati Bengals: The Bengals make a comeback against the Colts, but the Colts have a terrible defense and suspect offensive line so take the win with a grain of salt.
  19. Detroit Lions: Some might say the Jets are better than expected, some might say the Lions are worse than expected, and I’m saying both so the Lions drop.
  20. New York Giants: The G-Men fall, but they may have faced the best defense in the NFL in a game that had a rookie starting at running back, a bad offensive line, and a receiver coming off an ankle injury.
  21. Tennessee: Titans: Maybe blame this loss on the weather and all the delays, but they looked outmatched by a bad team, and need to address a lot this week to get better.
  22. Indianapolis Colts: The Colts’ offensive line looked bad, the defense looked bad, but at least Luck had a good day and the team could get better throughout the year.
  23. Chicago Bears: Khalil Mack made this team a top-tier defense, and it looks like Trubisky can use the weapons given to him by the Bears, but they went with conservative play calls in the 2nd half and allowed the Packers to come back.
  24. New York Jets: Sam Darnold looked like an NFL quarterback, the defense looks average, and the running game looked average as well, but that is a good thing because these average units were supposed to be bad.
  25. Seattle Seahawks: Seattle had plenty of turnovers Sunday, and still couldn’t get a win in Denver because the offensive line doesn’t look good and Wilson can’t do everything.
  26. Washington Redskins: A dominating win against a bad team is a good start, and Smith looked good, but how long does Adrian Peterson hold up as a good running back, and did the defense look so good because of the bad offense they faced?
  27. Oakland Raiders: Oakland looked competent on offense against an elite Rams defense, but their defense looked mediocre as expected, but they held their own with the best team in the NFL for 3 quarters.
  28. Arizona Cardinals: Getting blown out is a bad way to start the season, and while the offensive line looked bad, at least they have a promising rookie quarterback developing and David Johnson for 3 more years.
  29. Cleveland Browns: The Browns did the most Browns thing ever and blew 2 chances to win a game in 16 minutes, but at least they didn’t lose.
  30. Miami Dolphins: Even with a win I don’t like this team, but Tannehill showed promise before his injuries, and maybe the defense can be average enough to get to 7 or 8 wins.
  31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Fitzpatrick will probably throw 5 INTs next week and this was probably a fluke win, but a win nonetheless.
  32. Buffalo Bills: The only good thing the Bills did today was allow NFL fans to see Lamar Jackson play in the regular season and other than that this team has no offensive line, no quarterback, an aging rusher, bad wide receivers, and an average to below average defense.
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